The other day I needed to go to the emergency room. Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my GREEN HAT that I got from Newsmax when I had subscribed to the magazine.

When I went into the E.R., I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left. I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all. Cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time. Here's the hat. Try it the next time you're in need of quicker emergency service.

It also works at DMV. It saved me 5 hours.

At the Laundromat, three minutes after entering, I had my choice of any machine, most still running.

Don't try it at McDonald's though. The whole crew got up and left and l never got my order.

"There was a similar story a few years ago about a guy who was having trouble with litter from a construction site in his neighborhood.

After complaining to the contractors several times and basically being told to fuck off, he decided to try a different approach.

He and a couple of the other neighbors got together and ordered some INS shirts and hats. Then they went to the edge of the construction site and began taking photographs of the workers.

The next day all work had mysteriously halted, because most of the workforce was a no-show.

Must have been the flu."