|
A Guide for Noobs
|
|
| ÜberGeek | Date: Tuesday, 05-Jun-2012, 10:37 AM | Message # 1 |
|
Mr. Löwenstein
Group: Clan Members
Messages: 1229
Awards: 0
Reputation: 2422
Status: Offline
| Here's how to become the ultimate noob:
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING TIPS ARE BASED ON REAL GAME-SCENARIOS
THESE STUNTS ARE FOR NOOBS, ATTEMPTING THEM ON YOUR OWN IS RISKY
the thread-starter is not liable for any harm that may come out of using or spreading the following techniques:
-join and leave the game in the lobby, as many times as you can
-send your units out as soon as they spawn and leave them in the middle. It's not like the enemy is getting any gold from them.
-if you are red, then immediately type "-ssd" and be the first one to leave
-you have 1900 gold! Buy an Speed-Built Arcane Tower and attack your nearest ally
-beg red to do ssd, keep typing it into the chat for all to see. Be persistent.
-buy a hero a few seconds after mass, so you drain your allies' XP
-send your lumber to your teammates, they'll know what to do
-if you get a standard hero like Tinker or Fox, forget about "-repick" and just quit the game
-for a melee hero, get the Searing/Frost Arrows combo, it works great!
-get Frost Shield too, it matches well with Frost Arrows
-always get Multishot Ultimate with a melee hero, especially for Jaood
-Cleave is the best choice for ranged heroes
-leave the good skills like Death Pact and Dark Ritual for the pros. You're a noob, remember?
-stay in the skill-pick area for as long as you can, walking outside is dangerous!
-pick up the Pet and Tower Resurrection items and sell them for extra gold!
-take your allies' boots and amulets, you need it more!
-if a player with win-codes forces you to share control, make sure to unshare every time!
-during mass, move ALL your footmen back to the base! They will just die in the middle! Protect your babies.
-your hero is good for one thing, and one thing only: die as quickly as possible. Make it happen!
-get a Zeppelin first, so you can transport your footmen around the map
-ask for 'mass in the middle again' during late-game
-buy 5-6 Claws of Attack, you don't need anything else!
-when in doubt, start feeding the other teams
-feed some more, sending out units in batches of 4-6, preferrably footmen
-sometimes, pros share control with you. Use their skill points to get lvl6 Banish. lvl1 Frost Nova is enough. You know what
you're doing!
-click and use their Town Portal item to see what it does
-when an injured friendly hero is moving back to base, send all your units at the hero to block its retreat! Hey, you're trying
to help
-if a pro is tired of your constant feeding and destroys your base, buy a Cannon Tower and return the favor!
-when you're losing the game, call the winning team 'noobs'
-include phrases like "no skill", "u got lucky", "lag" and "stackers/abusers", in any order
-if you get no response, insult their mother
-some are immune to mom-jokes so tell them what you did to their sister
-before you leave, use up all your gold by building various towers, then cancelling them
-whatever you do, do not give your gold to your allies! They might waste it on Penguins or Tier 5
-finally, you can rage-quit and leave all these fat virgins behind, so you can get on with your life
-or join another game and repeat the whole process
There you have it noobs, looking forward to having you on my team in the future!
I am Über, the craziest Über ever.
FTL forever
Onwards comrades!
|
| |
| |
| RosarioVampireZ | Date: Tuesday, 05-Jun-2012, 10:51 AM | Message # 2 |
 Robotic Ninja
Group: Clan Members
Messages: 2113
Awards: 0
Reputation: 4239
Status: Offline
| i wanna do thi
trollface ♥♥♥♥
|
| |
| |
| FirNesS | Date: Tuesday, 05-Jun-2012, 11:43 AM | Message # 3 |
|
Robotic Ninja
Group: Game Mod
Messages: 2446
Awards: 0
Reputation: 3754
Status: Offline
| Great... But you forgot about buying Demolisher / Shaman and killing your mates' bases.
|
| |
| |
| Bond009 | Date: Tuesday, 05-Jun-2012, 1:58 PM | Message # 4 |
 Overall Site Owner
Group: The Creator
Messages: 3180
Awards: 3
Reputation: 7521
Status: Offline
| lol classy shit Uber hahaha
|
| |
| |
| xMoNsTeRRR | Date: Tuesday, 05-Jun-2012, 2:08 PM | Message # 5 |
|
Zombie Pirate
Group: Banned Users
Messages: 1242
Awards: 0
Reputation: 119
Status: Offline
| I see you just took acccreate gamestyle and made a guide, good work. (y)
this account is currently being shared by xmonsterrr and cyray. if i say something nice, its probably cyray so please disregard it.
|
| |
| |
| Ticklemonster | Date: Tuesday, 05-Jun-2012, 4:23 PM | Message # 6 |
 Grunt
Group: Clan Members
Messages: 172
Awards: 0
Reputation: 811
Status: Offline
| ^^^ that wasnt even funny.... nor was it anything near the truth? Just shows how much bullshit comes out of your mouth.
#CHFbecamedsucks
Adam_CZ "wildjap is the worsest player chf ever"
[-FTL-]RoyStoM "you never win me or win team ftl jajajajaj i god for game"
|
| |
| |
| xMoNsTeRRR | Date: Tuesday, 05-Jun-2012, 4:24 PM | Message # 7 |
|
Zombie Pirate
Group: Banned Users
Messages: 1242
Awards: 0
Reputation: 119
Status: Offline
| another pub talking back, how cute ahah
this account is currently being shared by xmonsterrr and cyray. if i say something nice, its probably cyray so please disregard it.
|
| |
| |
| mN- | Date: Tuesday, 05-Jun-2012, 5:06 PM | Message # 8 |
 Grunt
Group: Investor
Messages: 205
Awards: 1
Reputation: 125
Status: Offline
| how about these 
-afk in ww during mass and game, you get most xp
-when hero comes with dshield to base dont surround him with units so he cant move - bring jamie closer, as sacrifice for the pro
-ask your teammates to share so you can combine the amulets to make the great bond amulet
-if you have death coil/holy light, never heal your teammates hero, you get more xp when they are dead and u are in ww
-never use singe-guy spells like coil on footies only heros, its good to have 0 cool down
-save your transmute cooldown for jamie only
I am biwinning
Message edited by xifelol - Tuesday, 05-Jun-2012, 5:12 PM |
| |
| |
| Ticklemonster | Date: Tuesday, 05-Jun-2012, 5:39 PM | Message # 9 |
|
Grunt
Group: Clan Members
Messages: 172
Awards: 0
Reputation: 811
Status: Offline
| pub? whatever you say master xmon
#CHFbecamedsucks
Adam_CZ "wildjap is the worsest player chf ever"
[-FTL-]RoyStoM "you never win me or win team ftl jajajajaj i god for game"
|
| |
| |
| xMoNsTeRRR | Date: Tuesday, 05-Jun-2012, 6:58 PM | Message # 10 |
|
Zombie Pirate
Group: Banned Users
Messages: 1242
Awards: 0
Reputation: 119
Status: Offline
| yeah about time you call me with my correct title, now get on ur knees
this account is currently being shared by xmonsterrr and cyray. if i say something nice, its probably cyray so please disregard it.
|
| |
| |
| SecreT-Name- | Date: Tuesday, 05-Jun-2012, 8:11 PM | Message # 11 |
 Hero
Group: Users
Messages: 385
Awards: 0
Reputation: 1100
Status: Offline
| For those just starting to play this cute game courtesy of bond take : hammer, death coil and ww , the ulti xmute
|
| |
| |
| Ticklemonster | Date: Tuesday, 05-Jun-2012, 9:25 PM | Message # 12 |
|
Grunt
Group: Clan Members
Messages: 172
Awards: 0
Reputation: 811
Status: Offline
| Oh your correct title? Sorry faggot. i correct myself from now on faggot.. i mean that is your correct title... "faggot"
#CHFbecamedsucks
Adam_CZ "wildjap is the worsest player chf ever"
[-FTL-]RoyStoM "you never win me or win team ftl jajajajaj i god for game"
|
| |
| |
| a_chinese_kid | Date: Tuesday, 05-Jun-2012, 9:56 PM | Message # 13 |
|
Robotic Ninja
Group: Clan Members
Messages: 3952
Awards: 0
Reputation: 3157
Status: Offline
| Woah tickle monster you are a pub do are you xmon! None of you will ever compare to the cOokie monster. He is the pro of the pros
You're both amateur shit compared to him
|
| |
| |
| xMoNsTeRRR | Date: Tuesday, 05-Jun-2012, 10:08 PM | Message # 14 |
|
Zombie Pirate
Group: Banned Users
Messages: 1242
Awards: 0
Reputation: 119
Status: Offline
| awww tickle did i hurt your feelings?
this account is currently being shared by xmonsterrr and cyray. if i say something nice, its probably cyray so please disregard it.
|
| |
| |
| RosarioVampireZ | Date: Tuesday, 05-Jun-2012, 10:21 PM | Message # 15 |
|
Robotic Ninja
Group: Clan Members
Messages: 2113
Awards: 0
Reputation: 4239
Status: Offline
| chinese
trust me. xmon isnt pro
hes just as good.. if not only nearly as good as lepiathos
only difference is when in alts even in inhouse
he DOESNT get maimed all game
how u think i had 32 wins and 1 loss with proglitcher acc?
ITS CAUSE ALTS NVR GET MAIMED
|
| |
| |
